May 13th, Mother’s Day. Befittingly too the date of our anniversary. That is to my
beautiful albeit rather brusque tempest of a wife. Susie, well that’s what I
call her anyhow, at least that’s how I address her normal side… Born in
January, she arrived inseparable from the love of winter and for that reason we
are all reclined comfortably watching Scrooge. The familiarity, however, bores
me and rather fittingly, my subconscious takes me to a different time zone.
Christmas day . Unofficial lovers. I watched
as our families huddled by the fire, as it burnt away tendrils of cold
discomfort. My hands, however, felt a different sensation, the premature touch
of a woman. I reminisced fleetingly, that was until the meeting of our thighs
was disturbed by my large squeal. She had tasered me… Conveniently I was rather
dim-witted and managed to soak the burning flames of inquisition with the guise
of uncanny acting and playfulness… A few minutes later, she began playing
footsy. I watched as I evidently tensely enjoyed the moment, I mean it was hard
when you had the fear of Raiden thundering through your naviculars. You see
that’s how we all felt around Susie, safe from external invasion yet tiptoeing
across the weightless stones of her guile waters. That leads me to my daughter
Anna who resembles me fortunately in looks yet unfortunately in the art of
projection. She, just like me is capable of altruistic stupidity… That is
buying gifts that result in catastrophes. Mine solemn mood swings and hers
well… You’ll see. Buy pink taser for mothers day! Buy a pink taser for
mothers’ day!’ I recall her scream right before I disowned her childish
pettiness. The truth was that was exactly what she needed, rather a stun gun
for unpleasantries had already been simmering after her late shifts. Violence
begets violence she rather stupidly comments. Susie and Anna. It’s rather
fitting both names are alphabetically at opposing ends of the spectrum I
thought as I awoke from slumber. Susie discovered her present, and Anna
rediscovered fear. Susie was let loose again… buy pink taser for mothers day.